this weekend...

it was ____________.   pick one:

• tiring


• exciting


• dreamy


• lethargic


• happy


• fun


• useful


• rushed


• playful


• silly


• sleepy

i feel like
i would like
to be somewhere else doing something that matters
and i’ll admit here
while I sit here
my mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather
what’s the purpose
it feels worthless
so unwanted
like i’ve lost all my value
i can’t find it
not in the least bit
and i’m just scared--so scared that i’ll fail you

and sometimes i think that i’m not any good at all
and sometimes i wonder why
why i’m even here at all
But then You assure me
i’m a little more than useless
and when i think that i can’t do this
You promise me that i’ll get through this
and do something right
do something right for once.

fca went christmas caroling tonight and then to katie & christie's for pizza and yummy dessert things. mmm....

is it bad that i don't understand the whole "getting into the christmas spirit" thing? i like giving presesnts and wrapping presents and seeing people smile...and i really really like hot chocolate...but i don't like cold weather and i don't like the selfishness and stuff-mindset that goes along with the typical american christmas...and i really really don't like christmas colors. i like green...but red is such an angry color...even if my grandma says it looks good on me. i think they look really ridiculous and gaudy together. ew.


"God bless you and keep you, God smile on you and gift you, God look you full in the face and make you prosper."
--Numbers 6:24-26

however many months later she returns.

we took Laura out for her birthday tonight. we went to maria's and then to see Ocean's 12...both of which were very good. it's so nice to be able to drive when i want with as many folks as i want...and I really want to get to know Laura better--nifty kid.

while i was driving everyone home i remembered how absolutely permeated i am with opinions (of which not all are well backed up i admit) and i kept ranting about all of these different things (problems with authority figures, the 50s housewife mindset, etc.). i hope that i didn't irk anyone...i haven't gone off about things like that in a while...

have i mentioned just how glad i am that this semester is almost over?

"Do everything readily and cheerfully--no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night...."
~philippians 2:14-15 

just got home from the talent show....

                             it was amazing!!!

i was so proud of everyone--i don't agree with the judges.

here's who i'd have picked:

3rd: Bobbi Ruffin

2nd: Josh Martin, Morgan Gladden, Jeremy Huynh, and James Shuler 

1st: Mike Brigham, A.J. Golding, and Austin Spitler

                                                                        any changes?

 

trying really hard to not write the voice of democracy paper

wow it's been forever since i updated this....

hello, dolly! is finally over and now i can get back to...real life.

relient k has a new album coming out soon--i really like the lyrics to this song:

i watch the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the pacific and
you might think i'm losing my mind
but i will shy away from the specifics
'cuz i don't what you to know where i am
'cuz then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been
this is no place to try and live my life

stop right there
that's exactly where i lost it
see that line?
well i never should have crossed it
stop right there
well i never should have said that
it's the very moment that 
i wish that i could take back
i'm sorry for the person i became
i'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
i'm ready to
wish i never become that way again
'cuz who i am hates who i've been
who i am hates who i've been

i talk to absolutely no one
couldn't keep to myself enough
and the things bottle inside 
have finally begun to create so much pressure
that i do blow up and
i heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart
and i was positive that unless
i got myself together
i would watch me fall apart 
and i can't let that happen again
'cuz then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been
this is no place to try and live my life

stop right there
that's exactly where i lost it
see that line?
i never should have crossed it
stop right there
i never should have said that
it's the very moment that 
i wish that i could take back

stop right there
that's exactly where i lost it
see that line?
well i never should have crossed it
stop right there
well i never should have said that
it's the very moment that 
i wish that i could take back

i'm sorry for the person i became
i'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
i'm ready to
wish i never become that way again
'cuz who i am hates who i've been
who i am hates who i've been

who i am hates who i've been
and who i am will take the second chance You gave me 
who i am hates who i've been
who i've been only ever made me

so sorry for the person i became
so sorry that it took so long for me to change
i'm ready to
wish i never become that way again
'cuz who i am hates who i've been
who i am hates who i've been

listen to it here: http://www.mmhmm.com